Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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