So drunk its hurt
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize