Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
