i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
