I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Someone signed my nipple.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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