It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
