Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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