How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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