I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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