Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
