in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
