So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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