If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize