He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Actions speak louder than pants.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize