No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
