She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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