No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
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I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize