yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
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Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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