I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize