drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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