i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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