The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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