Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
