Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
