It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
