i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
