I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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