she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
