Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
