just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
