Sorry, I don't speak sober.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
