and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
