I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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