Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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