people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
