so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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