i jhust puked up my retainher.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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