just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
