drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
