Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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