i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize