I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize