and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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