My Higher Power is John Stamos
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
