PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize