disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
