I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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