dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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