I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
