this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
