Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
