So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Wipe that smile off your face.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.