a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
