I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
