When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
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I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
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When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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