I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
