Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
