So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
