Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
