My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
