He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
