We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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