Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
