I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
