We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
