dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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