Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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